As an INTP-T, here is how it makes life to me

One thing was that, I had problems with myself. Being perfectionist, quite often in my youth I died of shame just for making little mistakes. In particular, since I had troubles to socialize in a world of people with quite different ways of being, many times I turned out to not behave "right" so I was criticized and it made me continuously die of shame. But nobody realized this, they didn't inform me that in their criticism they didn't actually mean that I was the worst person on Earth just worth killing myself, probably as they didn't guess I interpreted it so. It took me a long experience until I realized that by my own. I was extremely sentitive to teasing when I was in secondary and high school: that made my life a hell and I felt so shameful at every mocking, no matter that those who teased me were clearly idiots. Also being a dreamer I had big problems focusing my thoughts on homework which was too boring to me, and that made me ashamed as if I was "not serious".

In my work, indeed I am perfectionist. I wish to make it all perfect, however it is not possible because as a Perceiver I can start many topics and leave them as messy drafts, yet in some of my favorite topics I spent a HUGE time improving my texts over and over again, to bring them to perfection. Namely, mathematics courses, you can see the perfection I brought there: Set Theory and Foundations of Mathematics. But isn't that the necessary condition for it to be worth anything at all ? This world is full of millions of course notes of maths and physics which are all similar kinds of messy drafts. Every professor adds to that global mess his own additional quickly made draft, without anything really better in it than what others already did. What is the point then ????

Finally, I am very upset at some others : I am very angry at authorities. As a perfectionist I can neither grasp nor tolerate how people in positions of authority can take authoritarian decisions, especially of the form "I am the authority, very serious, and I declare that for being serious and prove one's seriousness anyone must believe this and dedicate themselves to follow this and that duties and requirements" while having NOT done everthing to ensure to design these requirements in any correct manner. Because it is such a dangerous trap : being serious it is a big trouble for me to suspect them to have not been as serious as they claim to be in the design of duties they assigned to me. So I feel obliged to give my life to follow their advice and I may keep following very far down that pit until I dare to criticize, but then I cannot forgive. I know 3 kinds of these : the academic people, who in the name of science and intelligence decide what students should learn and to what exams they should prepare. Religious people, who claim to speak in the name of God's wisdom and how anyone serious should give one's life to God. And psychiatrists.
I do believe in the need of death penalty (and I spend much of my time praying God to send to hell), to punish these impostors whose actions are precisely those likely to destroy the lives of the best and most serious people, by that way of making the naive serious people feel obliged "for being serious" to give and thus waste their life to such so carelessly designed shit. More comments : Why Goodness is Evil

I wish to know other INTP-T with similar experience. (Contact: trustforum at gmail)
Another INTP-T